Monday, March 23, 2009

A film to restore your faith in humanity..

What a delightful film. What a charming delightful film. A film that makes you ask yourself while you watch it: "Am I an OK person for watching stuff like this?" "I mean, I paid actual money to watch an hour of violence and torture." "Me and the other 3 people in this theatre on a Monday night." "And what are we doing here on a Monday night?" "What is wrong with us?" (This is usually what is going on in my internal monologue.)
OK, I paid money to see "Last House on the Left" because I feel an obligation to support Horror films by actually PAYING to go see them. And while I could not drag my ass to the "Friday the 13th" remake (shitty then and shitty now) I was looking forward to "Last House." I always make the joke that "Last House on the Left" was the first film I ever saw, and that may not be far from the truth. My folks, you see, were big fans of drive-ins. Instead of getting me a babysitter (or god forbid leaving me with my sisters) they would put me in my jammies, throw a blanket and pillow in the backseat, and hope for the best. Of course I NEVER fell asleep, especially when they went to see a Horror film, which they often did (what 7 year old girl knows about a film like "I Spit on your Grave"? I did!)
So I remember seeing this film at a very young age. If you have seen the original you know how fucked up this is (but my parents are the greatest people in the world really. They just had no filter.) "Last House on the Left" is a very dirty, grimy, creepy film. Its like the original "Chainsaw." You just feel dirty after watching it (my kind of film.) Well, the remake looses much of the charm of the original. It is just too pretty. I mean the killers all look like super models and I did not for one minute believe that Monica Potter would go all "Jason" on some one's ass. Having said that, watching the first 1/2 hour of this film is extremely difficult. It involves horrible people doing horrible things to not so horrible people. That is when I had that "What kind of person am I?" dark moment of the soul. And them Monica Potter starts killing people and I felt all better. The best part of "Last House on the Left" is now that I have seen it, I don't have to see it again. Now I just have to move the original to number One on my Netflix Que.

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